WWE Wrestlemania 22 Results - 'Medium Time!'

The 'Granddaddy Of Them All', Wrestlemania has come and gone. Let's go though the matches and see who had the most predictions right. For those who don't remember, for the last 3 PPVs (Raw's New Year's Revolution, Royal Rumble & Smackdown's No Way Out) I picked a combination of 11/17 matches correctly while David picked 7/17 correctly.

World Tag Team Championship
Kane & Big Show (c) v. Carlito & Chris Masters
Masters went to hit Kane with a double-axehandle, but hit Carlito by mistake. Kane then won with the chokeslam.
Me: 0/1
David: 0/1

US Title Match
Chris Benoit (c) v. JBL
For JBL's entrance the entire ramp lifted up and JBL's limo drove out. The end saw Benoit apply the crossface, but JBL rolled him over and held the ropes to get the pin and U.S. Title.
Me: 0/2
David: 0/2

Women's Title Match
Trish v. Mickie James
A good match as far as women's matches go. Trish had Mickie in a headlock at one point, but Mickie grabbed Trish by the crotch until Trish let go. Mickie then started licking the hand that she had grabbed Trish with. After a botched Stratusfaction and a Chick Kick Mickie won and became the new women's champ.
Me: 0/3
David: 0/3

Handicap Match
Booker T & Sharmell v. Boogeyman
Prior to the match Booker and Sharmell were shown in the back and Sharmell was telling Booker that he was a magnet for weird people. Booker T said that he wasn't a magnet for weird people. They then proceeded to pass Paul Burchill (who was acting like a pirate), Eugene (who was dribbling a basketball in order to get money from Ted DiBiase, but DiBiase kicked the ball away), Snitsky (who was licking Mae Young's feet), and Goldust (who was dressed as Oprah / Oprahdust). If I recall correctly Sharmell had no involvement in the match until she tried sneaking up on the Boogeyman to hit him with his cane. Boogeyman turned around before she could hit him, pulled a bunch of worms out of his pocket, ate them, and then kissed Sharmell. Sharmell ran away screaming leaving Booker T alone to get powerbombed and pinned.
Me: 1/4
David: 1/4

Hardcore Match
Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack?) v. Edge
My main question going into this match was whether or not Edge would risk injury. He did and then some. Edge speared Foley, but it turned out that Foley was wrapped in barbed wire under his shirt. This resulted in Edge having a large gash on his upper arm. Edge also brought out a bag of thumbtacks, poured them out, and was then backdropped onto them by Foley. Edge must have had 50-100 tacks in his back. Later in the match Foley pulled out Mr. Socko and wrapped it in barbed wire. He then gave the Mandible Claw to both Edge and Lita. Foley also repeatedly hit Edge with a barbed wire covered baseball bat as well as grinding it into Edge's bloody face. Match ended when Edge speared Foley through the ropes and through a burning table that was set up on the floor (above left). At one point Edge was planning on lighting Mick Foley on fire. Edge got the pin. An excellent match.
Me: 2/5
David: 2/5

Playboy Pillow Fight
Torrie v. Candice
Really dumb match. Torrie won with a roll-up.
Me: 2/6
David: 2/6

Casket Match
Undertaker v. Mark Henry
Shorter than I thought it would be. 'Taker won and then Druids rolled the casket away. No Daivari.
Me: 3/7
David: 3/7

Inter-Brand Money In The Bank Ladder Match for a title shot within the next 12 months
Matt Hardy (SD) v. Finlay (SD) v. Lashley (SD) v. Ric Flair (RAW) v. Shelton Benjamin (RAW) v. Rob Van Dam (RAW)
Near the beginning of the match Matt Hardy superplexed Flair off of the top of a ladder. Flair looked like he landed awkward and was helped to the back by refs and agents. His leg looked a like his knee was knocked out of place. Flair came back out a little later and was pushed off the top of the ladder. Not a lot of major bumps. RVD won the match. A pretty good match, but not nearly as many big bumps as normally seen in ladder matches.
Me: 4/8
David: 3/8

No Holds Barred
Shawn Michaels v. Vincent K. McMahon
Before the match all 4 McMahons were shown in the back and they decided to have group prayer. Vince said that he doesn't like God and God didn't like him. He also told God that he was going to send Shawn Michaels to Hell. Just like I said it was going to do, this match stole the show. The best match of the night. Also, just like I had said, Vince came out looking 'blotchier' than he did on Monday. I always tease my friend about how orange Hulk Hogan looks, but he would look like an albino compared to Vince ( a little exaggeration). Nothing eventful happened in the beginning of the match, but then Shane came out and knocked Shawn off of the top rope. Shane then pulled out some handcuffs, but didn't use them. Vince then decided that Shawn should join the 'Kiss My Ass Club' again and promptly dropped his pants. As Shane was about to ram Shawn's face into Vince's ass Shawn elbowed Shane and without Vince realizing it Shawn rammed Shane's head into Vince's ass. Shawn then handcuffed Shane to the ropes outside the ring and beat him senseless with a kendo stick. The S. Squad came out and worked Shawn over. He eventually fought them off. Shawn was about to give Vince a superkick, but decided against it. He instead brought a ladder into the ring and hit Vince in the head with it. As Shawn was about to try a superkick again he decided against it. He then hit Vince with a trash can and put him on a table. Shawn was then going to jump onto Vince from on top of the ladder, but decided that the ladder (which was 10 feet) wasn't high enough. Shawn then got out a 15 foot ladder, put the garbage can over Vince's head, put him back onto the table, and gave Vince an elbow from the top of the ladder (above right), but not before doing a DX crotch chop. After the elbow the ref checked on Vince to see if he was alright. The ref then made an X with his arms to signify that there is a legitimate injury in the ring. As the paramedics came down Shawn pushed them away (the 'legitimate' injury was a work) and went on to superkick Vince right in the jaw followed up by a pin. After the match Vince was carted off on a stretcher and gave Shawn the middle finger as he was being wheeled up the ramp. Also, at one point in the match Vince kept doing a Bret Hart imitation by putting his arms out and shaking them like Bret used to do when he got into the ring after being introduced.
Me: 5/9
David: 4/9

Smackdown Main Event - World Heavyweight Championship
Kurt Angle (c) v. Rey Mysterio v. Randy Orton
A decent match, but nothing special. Rey was to come out first and the band P.O.D. was playing his theme on top of the entrance set. Rey then 'jumped' out of the stage went back through the curtain and appeared on top of the set with P.O.D. When Rey appeared on top of the set he was wearing some sort of headdress. He was also wearing tassels all over his clothes like a mariachi band member. Early in the match Orton was about to give Rey a German suplex only to have Kurt Angle come up behind him to give Orton a German suplex of his own; The result was both Rey and Orton being suplexed at the same time with Rey flying across the ring. Within the first 5 minutes Angle had gotten both Rey and Orton to tapout to the Ankle lock. The referee didn't see either though. As Rey was tapping out the ref was distracted by Orton trying to bring a chair into the ring and while Orton was tapping Rey was hugging the referee so he couldn't turn around. In a bit of a funny moment Rey tried giving Angle a 619 around the ringpost, but his hands slipped and he just flew onto the floor. He however went on the hit Orton with the 619 and West Coast Pop to get the win. Rey is the new World Champion (I think I'm about to vomit). He then went to the top of the ramp and celebrated with Chavo and Eddie Guererro's widow Vickie.
Me: 6/10
David: 5/10

RAW Main Event - WWE Championship
John Cena (c) v. Triple H
The entrances that each wrestler made were a little bizarre. First for Triple H a video played of CGI skeletons followed by clips of medieval fighters swinging shield and swords. Triple H then rose up out of the stage sitting on a giant throne. He was wearing a cape with fur around the top, a silver Maltese cross on a necklace around his neck, a headband with a silver Maltese cross it (which made him look like an old fashioned doctor), and leather sheaths around his legs and forearms. I suppose this was playing off of the whole 'King of Kings' nickname that Triple H has. It looked like a screen test for the next Conan The Barbarian movie. For Cena, they played a video about the Great Depression and Gangsters (The Gangster part I understand a little bit since they were in Chicago, home of Al Capone, but the reason for the Great Depression was lost on me.). Then the stage lifted up just like with JBL and a 'mobster-type' car came driving out. A bunch of guys dressed up like mobsters then got out carrying Tommy Guns and then walked around the ring looking into the crowd as if they were trying to find someone. Cena's music then hit and he appeared wearing a black hat and trench coat like a mobster. He was carrying a Tommy Gun as well. He fired it into the air (it was a prop). If it sounds a little stupid, it was. I was thinking to myself - 'What is it? Halloween?'. Once both men were in the ring Lillian did the introductions and called each guy by all the nicknames that they had ever gone by. The actual match wasn't good at all. Say what you will about Triple H - the one thing that he can do better than most is carry a match. Unfortunately, he could carry Cena. I'm not saying that it's all Cena's fault, but the match was fair at best. For the first 5 minutes of so both guys seemed to take turns throwing each other down and then just standing there staring at their fallen opponent. Most of the rest of the match was rest holds. It seemed like an endless loop of sleeper holds and chinlocks. I'll skip all the details, but there was a few STFU's by Cena, a Pedigree by Triple H, and a ref bump. Triple H eventually tapped out to the STFU. I was really surprised to see Cena keep the title. He won't for long though. Also, Triple H did a DX crotch chop (as did Shawn Michaels) during the match, but I don't think that means that DX is reforming.
Me: 6/11
David: 6/11

Summary: It's a tie. My 6/11 to David's 6/11. I am really surprised that we didn't get more right. It's over 50% though.

Final Thoughts: A good PPV, but nothing truly memorable other than the Hardcore Match and the No Hold Barred Match. As far as Wrestlemania go it was below average. Worth $50? No way. Before Finkel introduced the Hall Of Famers he announced that Bret Hart was uncomfortable participating in the actual PPV so he wasn't there. I recommend getting the DVD only for the Hardcore Match, No Holds Barred Match, and HOF speeches which were heavily edited on the USA Network airing.

The catchphrase for Wrestlemania 22 was 'Big Time!'. I'd say it was more like 'Medium Time!'. Speaking of Big Time, It seemed like they were playing that 5 second clip from the Peter Gabriel song on an endless loop. That song is tatooed in my brain. I was never a big fan of the song to begin with, but now I hope I never hear it again...EVER!

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