Final Smackdown of 2005 - My Thoughts

I just finished watching a tape of last night's Smackdown. Here are some thoughts.

WWE Forcible Entry? (And I'm not talking about the album from a few years ago)
They are apparently running an angle where Melina is accusing Batista of more or less raping her a few weeks ago and suing him for sexual harassment. For those who didn't see it a few weeks ago, allow me to fill you in - On the last Smackdown before Armageddon MNM were set to defend their tag belts against Rey and Batista. Melina started coming on to Batista in hopes that he would pull out of the match. Although it wasn't explicitly shown or said, they audience was led to believe that sex took place. After the encounter Melina asked Batista if they had a deal and Batista said no. Later that night Batista and Rey defeated MNM and won the titles (which MNM regained last night with the help of Mark Henry). I understand that WWE is experimenting with what Vince calls 'dark humor' starting with the whole suicide thing at Armageddon, but this just seems a little stupid. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole angle is squashed in the next week or two. Probably showing footage from a 'hidden' security camera that shows Melina planning the whole thing and acknowledging that she was never raped. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if 'cops' come next week to collect Batista's DNA.

Boogeyman Is So Over
Is it just me or is Boogeyman the most over guy on the roster? He appears to be even more over than Rey. You've got to give him credit - He's taken what on the surface appears to be one of the dumbest gimmicks in recent years and turned it into a great character. In an age where wrestlers are known to nix angles quite frequently, Boogeyman seems more than willing to do what it takes to get over with the fans and be entertaining; specifically eating live worms week after week. He'd make a great tag team partner for Papa Shango. Maybe they should bring him back.

Return Of Fit Finlay
On Smackdown they began running promo videos for the return of Fit Finlay. What's the point? While I am sure that he was great in his day, I don't remember him really being over at any point while here is the States. I would have to guess that him returning was not entirely his choice. WWE management probably knudged him a bit. I suspect that his return will be short lived. Look for him to rekindle his feud with William Regal at some point since Regal is without a meaningful storyline.

The Invisible Man
Don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining, but where the hell is the Undertaker? They guy is never on TV with the exception of when he is going into a PPV. He just beat Randy Orton a few weeks ago and he hasn't been seen since.

Overall, Smackdown was lackluster as usual. Nothing all that memorable.

I recently finished watching the main feature of Bret Hart's DVD set. Look for my review sometime soon.

The WWE's New Dress Code Doesn't 'Suit' Them...Get It? 'Suit' Them!

I was reading about how WWE management has instituted a required dress code for all performers for when they are exiting or arriving to an arena. The dress code is very similar if not identical to the NBA's recently enacted dress code. It states that all performers (wrestlers, etc.) must wear a suit when arriving or leaving an event. There are however, only two exceptions that I have read about. They happen to be John Cena and the ominous Undertaker. Management's rationale behind making these two exempt from the policy is as follows: By requiring these two individuals to follow the dress code would surely kill their gimmicks. In that case I would say 'Please, Please, Please, Make John Cena Wear a Suit!". He is in great need for a new gimmick. It's stale, outdated, and has been done oh so many times before; Remember P.N.News? How about PG-13? Surely you remember the Road-D-O-Double-Jizzle (That's Road Dogg for those of you who aren't hip-hop inclined). I have nothing against Rap music, but I always find rapper gimmicks in wrestling to be (as they wrestlers themselves would say) 'wiggity-wiggity-whack on an old skool track'. Maybe it's just me, but back to this dress code thing. As stated, the Undertaker is also exempt to the policy. Why? God for bid the fans that gather behind the arena to see the Undertaker arrive and leave find out his dirty little secret - HE'S NOT REALLY DEAD EITHER! Even if he was, would it be so bad for him to wear a suit? Or even a coat and tie? Let the fans know that the afterlife is a pretty happening scene full of snappy dressers.

I say that if Cena and Undertaker have gimmicks that warrant exception, maybe some others do as well. Surely, the Boogeyman doesn't have to wear a suit. He eats live worms for crying out loud! How about Kane? The man was burned alive as a child. Ok, maybe just put him in a burnt suit - maybe put a few pieces of burnt toast in the pockets for the full effect. There's probably a few more that warrant an exception, but I'm not going to get into all of them right now.

My point is this: The fans don't expect these wrestlers to be businessmen (Except maybe JBL). How about enacting a 'smart casual' dress code or something along those lines - and if people want to wear suits, let them wear suits.

One final note. I also read that WWE management has requested that all wrestlers act 'in character' when out in public. One word for my response to this - Eugene. Do they actually expect him to act like a mentally challenged person when he's out to dinner or shopping with his family? It's never going to work. Does Jillian have to wear that mole/wart on her face when she's grocery shopping? Could she just wear a giant bandage over it? I can't wait until that thing falls off during live TV and the WWE is forced to acknowledge how stupid it was to have her wear it in the first place. Is Simon Dean supposed to go up to overweight people out to dinner and call people fat?

In the past the WWE has been more than willing to acknowledge that what they do is more entertainment than it is sport and that it's all theatre. Why can't they just let the performers be themselves when they are on their own time?

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

Worst Wrestler In History

Once again I would like to welcome a guest poster - David "No Gimmicks Needed" S.

I'd like to thank the esteemed wrestleblogger for giving me the chance to chime in with my two cents and pass out the award for 'Worst Wrestler in History'.

Runner-Up - Ultimate Warrior
What in God's name would possess any dang fool to be a fan of this roided up, talent less clown? I will confess that there is a certain visceral impact on witnessing Jim Helwig's animalistic snarls and massive pumped up physique charging around the ring but the effect is quickly lost when one discovers that the man can't actually wrestle. They say that in professional wrestling the chief duty of the wrestler is to tell a story in the ring. In the case of Warrior his story was always the same. I crush opponent. For a young HHH the story was, "I embarrass up and coming talent by completely no selling his finishing move". Of course Triple H got the last laugh by becoming the 6 thousand time world champ while Warrior is currently busy developing his career in informing college students that "queering don't make the world go 'round". Triple H has been justifiably accused of selfishness but he likely learned a great lesson from his brief encounter with the "Ultimate" Ego; that crushing opponents is arrogant, lazy and boring for the audience. Triple H may be self aggrandizing but at least he worked his tail off climbing wrestling's rungs. Warrior on the other hand worked short, dull matches with his limited repertoire of power moves and no selling. His promos were nothing more than ridiculous feral grunts and a butchering of the English language. Helwig fancies himself an intellectual but in truth he's just a man with a thesaurus.

Watching the brightly garbed Warrior shake the ropes, prance around the ring and pump his fists in the air he resembled nothing more than his own personal cheerleader from Hell. Nobody was a bigger fan of Warrior than Jim Helwig who took his character so seriously that he literally changed his name to "Warrior". His personal website is one long glittering testimonial to his own greatness. He proclaims his return appearance to wrestling to be the highest rated segment in Nitro history. What he doesn't mention is that his incoherent, ramblings very quickly turned off viewers and his brief stint was considered a flop. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Warrior was given a lot more artistic freedom in WCW and the result was a confusing, cartoonish angle that embarrassed everyone involved. Warrior was more than just a bad wrestler he was a certifiable nutcase and a nasty human being to boot. So where does an ex-wrestler take his bizarre ravings, inflated ego and generally bad disposition after his career is over? Warrior now fancies himself a Conservative pundit ala Ann Coulter delivering speeches on how America is in decline. Perhaps if we all had heeded Warriors advice and listened to the great Warrior Spirit society would now be dressing in colorful tassels with skin tight hot pants and garish face paint. Instead Warrior has become a dated icon whose gimmick today would more likely evoke guffaws for its goofiness. Jim Helwig wasn't a man before his time he was a product that could only exist during that brief window in the early to mid 90's. Subsequent attempts to rekindle the Warrior magic were doomed from the start. Warrior was so early 90's he seems downright quaint today but that doesn't stop him from being the second worst wrestler in history.


Winner -Bill Goldberg
Goldberg has many of the same qualities as the runner up for Worst Wrestler in History, The Ultimate Warrior, but unlike Warrior Goldberg has the distinction of having never earned his wrestling stripes in any way shape or form. Instead he was granted superstar status from the moment he stepped into the professional ranks. WCW was so intent on making a star that they literally piped in crowd chanting and created a character unburdened by things like say…. losses, or even say…. mild challenges. Hulk Hogan may have dominated in his heyday but at least he was generally willing to sell a move even to mid-carders. With the introduction of Goldberg WCW was separated into two levels; Goldberg and everyone else. All wrestlers job to Goldberg. I can remember Lex Luger smashing a chair into the back of Goldberg only to have Goldberg stand rigid for several seconds as if struck by a soap bubble. He finally collapsed to the ground with a comical overselling but in that moment I can only imagine the gears moving in Goldberg's mind as he contemplated no sell the chair shot.

Giving the devil his dues I'll credit Jim Helwig with, at least, working his way up to the WWF through much smaller organizations like World Class wrestling. Bill Goldberg on the other hand was given just enough wrestling training to learn two power moves and enough mic training to learn his two word catch phrase. Brilliant. Having an unstoppable force in WCW had the effect of making all wrestlers besides Goldberg look weak and timid. There is literally nowhere for a character like Bill Goldberg to grow and expand. His brief stint at being a heel was brought to a quick end when Goldberg cried like a little baby for making his fans sad. I would say that anyone who was actually a fan of Goldberg had bigger problems than a heel turn.

Bill Goldberg likes to think of his character as something that might have stepped out of the Ultimate Fighting Championship and he seemed to often have difficulty drawing a distinction between wrestling and real fighting. Goldberg was known for fighting stiff and a clumsy boot from 'The Man' ended the career of Bret Hart, an infinitely more talented wrestler. In one severely classless act Goldberg challenged Steve Austin to an actual fight and later threatened Triple H at a signing. It never occurred to Bill Goldberg that these two wrestlers were entertainers who had more dignity than two scuffle with a pumped up jerk from a rival organization. No one was safe from Goldberg's excessively physical style including himself. After making the rest of the WCW roster look like a bunch of panty waist schoolgirls Bill Goldberg would then proceed to get himself injured by doing things like punching his fist through a car window. In some ways I feel almost sorry for Jim Helwig because he is clearly nuts. Bill Goldberg, on the other hand, seems more in control of his faculties which makes his tantrums and ego bursts seem all the more pathetic and nasty. He comes off like a humorless bully like when he complained about Chris Jericho addressing him as Goldstein and refusing to do even a mildly interesting angle with the talented up and comer. Some people credit Goldberg with creating a resurgence of interest in WCW but in truth he was the poster child for everything that was wrong with WCW. He managed to go from rookie to selfish, frequently injured, entrenched veteran in one quick step which is a feat worthy someone with the title Worst Wrestler in History.

As usual all comments for this guest poster can be sent to the following address and I will make sure that he receives them.

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

Final RAW of 2005 - My Thoughts

Here are just some random thoughts regarding the last RAW of 2005 which aired this past Monday.

Announced for next week - Kurt Angle v. John Cena in a First Blood Match.
As with any match that Kurt Angle wrestles in - I hope he wins. However, I don't recall Cena ever bleeding in a match. I could be wrong, but he's never bladed. Angle has. As much as I want to see Angle win, I think Cena will.

Elimination Chamber Time Trials - Winner enters the Elimination Chamber Last
I expected to see Cena to win the time trials in an attempt to give him minimal ring time at 'Revolution' to cover up his inexperience. There are 5 other guys in the match so I think Cena's inexperience will be well hidden. Kane, who won the time trials, is reportedly still nursing a bad back so it makes sense that he won.

Shelton's Mama
A few weeks ago a casting call went out looking for a 50-ish heavyset black woman for the WWE to bring in to play Shelton's Mama. The gimmick will be similar to Donovan McNabb commercials for Chunky Soup. From the looks of it they found someone to fill the role and the angle appears to be starting next week. I'm not sure if it will work and it may in fact have disaster written all over it, but I think the angle should be interesting.

Big Show / Triple H contract signing
It was so obvious that 'Trips' didn't really smash Show's hand. You can clearly see that the hammer landed between Show's index finger and thumb. Big Show actually looked like he was going to cry. Very convincing. Maybe he'll wear a cast at the PPV and chokeslam Triple H with his left hand.

Tiny Joey Styles
Anyone see it when they showed all 3 announcers? Joey Styles looked like a child sitting between King and Coach. He needs to sit on a few phone books or maybe prop his chair up a good 9-10 inches.

Vince Reviews Bret Hart's new DVD
I'm not really sure what the purpose of this angle is. To sell more DVDs? If so, why not run it in during the pre-Christmas weeks? I do agree with what HBK said - It's been more than 8 years and it's time to move on if I'm Vince. I'm also curious to see what happens with the tension between Michaels and Vince. Perhaps it's just a way to get Vince over more as a heel. It also looks like they may be trying to start a whole 'Boss v. Employee' feud like they had with Vince and Austin. Possibly to culminate at Wrestlemania where they can maybe get Bret involved.

John Cena Rips Internet Fans?
I was reading that John Cena is ripping on Internet fans by using the name STFU for his verion of the STF. The reason for this is that 'STFU' in Internet terms stands for 'Shut The F*ck Up'. I can assure everyone out there that the name STFU is just a combination of the move's true name , the STF (Step-over Toe-hold Facelock) and the name of his original finisher, the FU.

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

Another Very Special Holiday Greeting!

Today is December 26th. You know what that means don't you? It's Boxing Day! In honor of Boxing Day I have invited 4 very special guests to wish everyone a Happy Boxing Day! It is my pleasure to introduce to everyone, The Punch-Out All-Stars - Bald Bull, Bear Hugger, Super Machoman (the inspiration of which is reportedly 'Superstar' Billy Graham), and Mr. Sandman.

Gentlemen, the floor is yours.



Wait A Minute...I'm now being told that Boxing Day has absolutely nothing to do with the sport of boxing. I'm also being told Boxing Day is also known as St. Steven's Day and is a day traditionally used to recognize and reward people who provide services to others throughout the year. Additionally, it is observed by giving to those who are less fortunate. Furthermore, it's typically only celebrated in parts of Europe, as well as Canada, New Zealand, and Australia.

Someone on the Wrestleblogger research staff is going to have a lot of explaining to do...

Happy Boxing Day Anyways!

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

Two Very Special Holiday Greetings!

In honor of the holiday season we have 2 special guests who have brought holiday messages with them.

First we have the savior himself. It's Wrestling Jesus! Wrestling Jesus, what would you like to say to the readers?

You're very welcome Wrestling Jesus.

Now representing our friends who celebrate Hanukkah we have the Genius Lanny Poffo! Lanny, would you honor us with a quick poem?

Lanny, that poem was weak. Perhaps your worst poem ever. Couldn't you have come up with anything better than that?

This Just In! Lanny Poffo is only half Jewish. Oh Well.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

Bring Back The 'Bisch'!

If you would have told me 7 years ago that I would be defending Eric Bischoff I would have told you that you were out of your mind. Much like most of the loyal WWF/E audience I used to despise Bischoff. I used to think that he was a piece of rubbish. He is after all, the man who almost ran WWF out of business - The company that I have grown up watching. This is the man who used Ted Turner's bottomless wallet to sign away some of WWF's biggest stars and bring them to WCW.

A few years back when Vince introduced Eric Bischoff as the new Raw General Manager I thought to myself that the apocalypse must be on its way. Vince McMahon & Eric Bischoff working together in the same company? Two men who literally wanted each other dead and would do anything to destroy the other's business were now working together? Granted, Vince was now Eric's boss and Eric served as nothing more than an on air character. Back then I still harbored a generous amount of hate towards Bischoff and thought that the fact that Vince would bring him in was basically and ego booster - Vince just wanted to show the world that he was now Bischoff's boss. Much to Eric's credit he seemed to relish his rebirth in the wrestling industry. Maybe it was the relief that his role would be nothing more than on-air talent and that the headache of being in charge was a thing of the past. Week by week that hate that I had for Bischoff slowly disappeared and he began to grow on me. Believe it or not I actually became a fan of him. He seemed like the perfect foil for all of RAW's superfaces. People like Austin, and more recently John Cena. For some reason or another I actually looked forward to seeing what diabolical plan he would have in store this week. Perhaps it could be attributed to the old saying: "The enemy of my enemy (Cena) is my friend.". No matter what it was I became a fan of him. I could even say a big fan. I found him thoroughly entertaining.

You can just imagine how disappointed I was when I read that we may have seen the last of him on WWE television. After he was 'fired' a few weeks ago I figured that he would somehow be incorporated back into the storylines. Reportedly, he was just taking some time off to work on producing some reality show with Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit. The most talked about possibility that I read about was that he would be returning as the manager of the newly reformed Three Minute Warning after reality show stuff was taken care of. I had no problem with that plan - Before Jamal was fired 3MW was a dominant tag team. They completely destroyed whoever they came into contact with. Especially Moolah & Mae Young. From what I am hearing now, the plan of bringing him back with 3MW has been cancelled although 3MW will most likely be returning sans Bischoff. The reports are now saying that Bischoff's days on WWE television are finished and that WWE may just release him or even just have him stay home until his contract runs out. I sure hope that is not the plan. I think he's a great part of RAW. He plays the role as the villainous GM perfectly. He's a great antagonist to John Cena, although Bischoff usually comes out on the short end of the stick.

There are also reports that a lot of the talent backstage (both former WCW talent and long term WWE talent) would be more than happy to see Bischoff released. They feel that this would be very fitting considering his treatment of some WCW talent back when he ran the promotion and how ruthless he was when trying to put WWF/E out of business during the same period. While I do see the irony of the whole "what goes around comes around" concept I think that they should keep him as an active member of the talent roster.

Candidates for the open GM position left by Bischoff include Dusty Rhodes, Shane McMahon, Steve Austin, Jim Ross, among others. I guess we'll just have to wait and see who ends up as the new RAW General Manager. They will sure have some big shoes to fill.

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

Sting To Put Over Younger Talent? You're Still Kidding, Right?

As I have previously written about, Sting (pictured here in a rarely seen childhood photo) has signed a 1 year contract with TNA Wrestling for the absurd amount of $500,000. From what I understand, this has caused some displeasure with other wrestlers under TNA contract. One of their arguments is that the money that they are paying to Sting can be better spent. I tend to agree with that. The other main argument that the wrestlers have is that it is much better for the long term future of the company to build up and elevate younger stars instead of relying upon older, declining stars. I tend to agree with this argument as well. I am uncertain of Sting's response for the first argument, but would you like to know what he has to say about the latter? He claims that he is going to be more than willing to put over the younger stars. He's going to help establish he younger guys into bigger names. That is the biggest lie that I have heard in a long time. When was the last time that he put over a younger star? The only one that comes to mind is that pitiful feud he had with Vampiro back in WCW and I'm not even all that sure that he did that great of a job. All I remember is someone getting a tombstone (yes! a tombstone! from a cemetary!) smashed over their head. Not only was it smashed over someone's head, but it was done with so much force that it literally turned to dust. Wouldn't you think that a tombstone hitting a human skull would tend to destroy the skull and not the tombstone? Never mind that though. I never really took it too seriously and I've commented before on how people take wrestling angles literally. It's just that it was so ridiculously over the top that it ruined the whole angle (not that I was really into it that much to begin with). In the end, I don't recall it really helping either wrestler’s career very much. Other than that I don't recall anyone that Sting has put over and helped establish (at least in the past 8 or 9 years). Why the hell should he start putting younger guys over now? What the hell is in it for him? It's never going to happen. Sting will never do it. I guarantee it.

By the way, I've never been a fan of the uber-faces, but Sting was much better as the 'Venice Beach' Sting. The whole Crow gimmick ruined his career. How the hell is this guy still so over? I don't understand. What's the appeal? Somebody let me know. Am I missing something?

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

Two Guys That WWE Must Re-Sign.

The WWE has a monopoly over the professional wrestling business in the US. I think most people would agree with that statement. Granted, there is a handful of regional promotions that have some level of national exposure (TNA, Ring Of Honor), but nothing even remotely close to that of the WWE. Because of this Vince and the rest of the decision makers can basically pick and choose who they want on the roster with little to no repercussions. There are however 2 members of the talent roster that are on the brink of leaving the company as a result of the expiration of their contracts. These 2 members are Chris Benoit and Paul Heyman. I strongly feel that WWE should take all reasonable steps to insure that both men remain with the company. By allowing either man to take their talents elsewhere, it would be a huge mistake.

First, Chris Benoit. This guy is considered by many to be one of the best wrestlers in the country, if not the world (along with Kurt Angle). Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what some people are out there saying - "No way dude! What about John Cena? He's off the heezy for sheezy. And how about Batista? He's the man! There's no kicking out after the Batista Bomb!". To these people I have one simple question - Do you have sh*t for brains? Those two guys are all hype and very little to no substance. They're not even in Benoit's league. I'm talking pure talent and ability. I'm talking a combination of grappling, power, and aerial moves. I'm not here to compare Benoit to Cena and Batista. I'm here to show why WWE should re-sign Benoit (by offering him a reasonable offer and not any of that lowball crap they reportedly pulled on Christian). I can guarantee that just like he main evented in Japan early in his career, he can easily main event anywhere he goes. He's one of the most over guys on the roster. He's been over for the last 7-8 years going all the way back to the Horsemen days in WCW. At a time where WWE and especially Smackdown need main eventers they can't afford not to resign him. With Eddie passing away and Batista with a torn latissimus muscle, they need someone else that can carry the belt and maybe even restore some of its prestige. I have read that he is looking for a lighter schedule so he could spend more time with his wife Nancy (Oh woman oh woman won't you marry me now...Mwah, Mwah, Mwah!). If that is indeed true, I would say to Vince - give him a few extra days off each month. Losing him for a few extra weeks a year is a hell of a lot better than losing him entirely.

Finally, we have Paul Heyman - the man who was run out of WCW only to comeback and change the US wrestling scene forever. I'm talking about the guy that took over Eastern Championship Wrestling, rechristened it Extreme Championship Wrestling, and turned a bunch of has-beens and nobodies into the most innovative brand of wrestling ever seen in the US. By letting this guy go and sign somewhere else, you run the risk of him signing with TNA and turning the company into major competition. While I don't think that they will ever rise to the level that WCW did, I do think that they will be able to give WWE a run for their money if they signed him. Don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to say that they should sign him just so he won't sign with TNA. I think that this guy still has a lot to offer. Look at what he's done with Ohio Valley Wrestling. He's restored interest in the company. He's revitalized the storylines and given the company new life. Vince really needs to explain to Stephanie that she needs to get over her disagreement with Heyman and do what's best for business - not only to have Paul Heyman on the Creative staff, but playing a major role. This guy could very well be one of the greatest minds in professional wrestling today. This guy still has what it takes to write compelling TV. Maybe Vince is afraid that Heyman will show him up. Is letting him go a chance you're willing to take? I hope not. By the way, a pretty good on-screen character as well.

I hear that both are in serious contract discussions with upper management. Let's hope they get everything worked out soon.

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

Don't Do It John! I'm Begging You.

John Glover, the actor who plays Lionel Luthor on Smallville, has signed on to play Skeletor in a new live action film version of He-Man based on the popular animated series. Yeah, I know what you are thinking - "Didn't they already make a He-Man movie with Ivan Drago? Wasn't it a complete flop?". The answers to those questions are yes and yes. The new film is scheduled to be directed by John Woo (Face-Off, Broken Arrow). Maybe they think that Woo (insert Ric Flair joke here) can make a He-Man movie that's actually watchable. Who the hell knows? If they want to try to make another He-Man movie - Go ahead. I don't care. I do however have issue with John Glover signing on for the film. In fact, he's the only actor currently committed to the film. John Glover, who I happen to think is one of the most underrated actors on TV today, is way too good for this role. This is the kind of role that can kill his career. While he may have a knack for playing villainous characters, I don't feel this role is right for him. It just seems stupid. My advice to him is simple - "Back out of the role. It's career suicide.".

On a semi-related note, Glover deserves at least an Emmy nomination for his role on Smallville. I'm not asking for a win. Just a nomination. Something to let him know that his peers recognize his work. In my opinion there is a conspiracy against actors on shows such as Smallville. It's because the dramas that air on the WB network tend to be targeted towards the teen audience and not the adult audience like shows such as Law & Order, CSI, and Desperate Housewives are. I just don't think that's fair. Or maybe the Emmy board are confusing the WB with the crap-machine that is known as UPN (except for Smackdown obviously).

By the way, John Woo is probably one of the most overrated directors in Hollywood.

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

Scouting Opponents

Guest Poster: David "The Oddsmaker"

The manager is a dying breed in wrestling and it's a shame because many young wrestlers could use sage advice from a "Grand Wizard", a "Brain", or a "Classy" advisor. The fact of the matter is that most wrestlers are far too easily fooled by opponents who telegraph their surely avoidable moves. Here's a tip to wrestlers: if you're wrestling Rey Mysterio Jr. and you find yourself draped over the second set of ring ropes looking out into the audience, do yourself a favor and roll sideways or drop to the ground. The ‘619' is coming. It's not that hard to figure out. And if you like to give powerbombs maybe you should hold off when wrestling Mysterio. This is the kind of advice that a good manager would supply. Of course it can be argued that the ‘619’ and Rikishi's 'Stinkface' are set up by first stunning the opponent leaving them senseless and incapable of defending. This is not the case with Ric Flair's 'Old Man Beg Off'. Tip number two: when Ric Flair is begging for mercy he's planning on smashing your balls. It's THAT simple. When Hulk Hogan begins to Hulk up PLEASE do yourself a favor and hop out of the ring and FOR GOD'S SAKE when he's shaking his head do NOT punch him in the forehead. If the Undertaker has a hold of your wrist and begins climbing the ring post, push him, pull him but for the love of Pete don't stand there like a dummy. And stop being so God damn surprised when he sits up after taking a big hit. IT'S WHAT HE DOES!!! Hit him again. In fact just stomp him unrecognizable. If wrestlers are going to do their job sans manager it's time they started learning the subtle art of scouting opponents. There is no reason for wrestler after wrestler to be continually caught off guard by the Undertaker’s goofy forearm off the top rope.

**Please send your responses to the following address and I will be sure to pass along any comments to David "The Oddsmaker".

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

The Guy Is Not Really Dead!

According to various online sources, the 'Suicide' sketch from this past Sunday's WWE Armageddon PPV had unexpected consequences. As a result of the sketch the local police department received roughly a thousand phone calls from residents reporting the alleged suicide. Area rescue workers responding to the phone calls arrived at the "Friendly Tap" and proceeded to pry the bar's door of its hinges in an attempt to gain access to the sign of the suicide. As a result $3,000 in damages were caused to the bar door. Local authorites have also voiced displeasure with not being forewarned of the sketch. In addition, as a result of the confusion stemming from the sketch, bar owner Tim White was forced to give a deposition stating that in fact no suicide or death of any kind had taken place at the bar and that it was all part of WWE programming. Concerned (not to mention retarded) fans also flooded the bar's e-mail address with condolences on the owner's death.

When I first read about all of this confusion I thought that it was some sort of joke. Are there people out there watching wrestling that think that the suicide actually took place? Are they that stupid? Sure, maybe a few fans who were trying to be funny called the police station to report the incident, but 1,000 people? There has always been a running joke in society that fans of professional wrestling were morons, but until now I didn't believe it. There really are a lot of stupid people out there. Never once did it ever occur to me that some people out there watching would actually take the sketch, and wrestling in general, so seriously.

Maybe after No Mercy I should have called the police to report that Randy Orton had committed arson and killed the Undertaker when he set a casket (which allegedly contained the Undertaker) on fire....Oh wait a minute. It's wrestling. It's not true. It never really happened.

On another confusing note - I read that Tim White's return to WWE programming on Sunday is only the beginning of a larger role for him within the company. Huh? His character is dead. How are they going to give him a larger role now? Are they going to have flashback scenes like they did on the Sopranos when the character 'Big Pussy' got whacked and showed up in subsequent episodes as part of Tony Soprano's dream sequences? Or maybe he's not really dead. Perhaps he'll show up with his head all bandaged up as a result of a botched suicide attempt. What purpose that will serve is beyond me.

If you are still concerned about Tim White (and suffering from severe brain damage), visit FriendlyTap.com, but I assure you that he is fine. He may be a little ashamed of his horrible acting performance on the PPV, but he's alive and doing okay. Send him some money if you can. I hear the front door of his bar is in pretty rough shape.


As Bob Backlund would say, "What a bunch of obtuse and imbecilic plebeians.".

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

'Yoga Man' Sues 'Jigga Man'

This story is a few weeks old, but I thought that I'd pass it along anyways.

Wrestler and outspoken yoga enthusiast Diamond Dallas Page, the self-proclaimed 'Master of the Diamond Cutter', has filed a lawsuit against rap music artist Jay-Z (known to many as the 'Jigga Man' among other names) alleging trademark infringment. The lawsuit stems from Jay-Z's repeated use of a hand gesture that is reportedly trademarked by Page. The gesture consists of holding both hands up into the air and forming a diamond shape with the thumbs and forefingers (seen in the above images).Page maintains that he has been barraged by fans inquiring about Jay-Z's use of the symbol and whether Jay-Z has Page's permission to use the symbol in addition to whether it is Jay-Z who in fact owns the symbol and has given Page the permission to use it. Coincidently, Page filed the lawsuit at around the same time he is releasing a Yoga book entitled 'Yoga for Regular Guys'. While I tend to believe that Page may have a legitimate case against Jay-Z, I am not entirely convinced that his use of the gesture was malicious and meant to capitalize on Page's popularity. I also think that the timing of this case reeks of the desire for free publicity as Jay-Z is known to have been using the symbol for some time now.

See Also: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1517546/20051206/story.jhtml

Update: Diamond Dallas Page appeared on the December 20th edition of the Abrams Report on MSNBC. 80-90% of what he said was over-the-top self-promotion. He kept talking about how he came from nothing and built his name and his hand gesture to a globally recognized symbol. He also mentioned how the diamond cutter symbol will be incorporated into his yoga merchandise such as mats and heart monitors. Jay-Z's lawyer also appeared on the program and mentioned how there are records of people using a similar hend gesture as far back as the early 1900's and therefore Page doesn't own the rights to the symbol. She also maintained that her client has as much right as anyone to use the symbol.

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

Armageddon Revisted

First off, let's review my predictions.

Rey & Batista v. Big Show & Kane - I predicted Rey & Batista would win due to Triple H's interference. I was wrong. Big Show & Kane won. Triple H was nowhere to be seen. I still can't believe Batista and Rey lost. 0/1

Orton v. Undertaker - I was hoping that Orton would be doing some sort of high spot like I had read he was going to do, but he didn't. Undertaker did win though.1/2

Booker T v. Chris Benoit - Benoit avoids the sweep and forces match #5. A solid match. 2/3

MNM v. Super Crazy & Psicosis - While watching the introductions to this match I had the feeling that MNM would pull it out and beat the Mexicools. My feeling was right. My prediction wasn't. 2/4

Juvi v. Kid Kash - Kash won as I predicted and got the cruiserweight title as well. Good move putting the belt on Kash. The cruiserweight division is still going nowhere though. 3/5

JBL v. Matt Hardy - Very one-sided match. JBL not only ripped Hardy (and all the MF'ers in the crowd) on the microphone, but got the pinfall too. 4/6

Lashley v. Regal & Burchill - This match was a no-brainer. Lashley easily dominated both Brits. No double power move that I predicted. The Brits got in just enough offense to avoid a squash. 5/7

Grand Total 5/7 - 71% a C- . Not too good. Maybe next time.

For full detailed results go here.

The Boogeyman match didn't take place, but he did come out and attack Vito (who was dressed as Santa) and Nunzio (who was dressed as an elf). He also opened up a giant box of worms and ate some then shoved a big handful into Vito's mouth.

Overall I would have to give the entire event a C-. A few solid matches, but nothing really memorable...At least as far as the matches go.

There was one occurance that I found to be a little odd.


A little background: Whenever the WWE has a televised show in Providence, the WWE some how finds a way to incorporate a local tavern named the "Friendly Tap" into the storyline. Typically, it's used as the setting for some type of bar room brawl. The reason for this bar's inclusion into the show is because the bar belongs to former WWE referee Tim White (as seen above in a photo from the match referred to in the next paragraph).

There is no doubt that Tim White would still be an active referee if he wouldn't have been injured a few years back while working a Hell In A Cell Match. Coincidently, Armageddon's main event is a Hell In A Cell match between Randy Orton and the Undertaker.Well, as part of the PPV they decided to have Smackdown reporter Josh Matthews go to the "FriendlyTap" and interview Tim White and get his thoughts on how brutal the Hell In A Cell can be. After all, it cost him his career-And he was only the referee. At first, whenever Matthews would ask him a question White would just stare at him and occasionally take a sip of beer or liquor. Eventually, White started to talk and went on about how the match ruined his career, broke up his marriage and family, led him to start drinking, and on and on about how he has Cirrhosis and Irritable Bowel Syndrome and so on. You get the picture - a real 'pity party'. By the way, he said all of this in the phoniest drunk voice I've ever heard. Matthews just stood there with some dumb look on his face and decided to end the interview by saying "Have a 'White' Christmas"...Get it? Tim White -'White' Christmas! Tim White didn't find that very funny though. At that point he reaches under the bar and pulls out a shotgun! I thought that he was going to shoot Josh Matthews for the lame joke. I know I would have considered it if I were him. He didn't though. He pumped the shotgun (or whatever the hell you call it when you slide that thing on the barrel to load a round) and walked away out of camera range. Next thing you know Josh Matthews is yelling "No,don't do that! Please don't Mr. White! C'Mon stop! Don't do it!". This is followed by a cheesy sound effect of a shotgun being fired and Josh Matthews doing a horrible job of acting shocked and disgusted at what was supposed to be a suicide happening right in front of his eyes. Bizzarre? Sure. Tastless? Not Really. It is wrestling after all.

And a message to all the people on the Internet who are saying things about how tasteless the Tim White segment was and how they vow to never watch WWE again- I can think of a lot of other segments that were much more tasteless than this. It's wrestling for crying out loud. It's entertainment. It's not real life! People get killed (suicide and murder) in movies all the time and you don't vow to ever see another movie from the same director or starring the same actor. If it makes you feel better, call the "Friendly Tap" or go there and ask for the owner. I can assure you that Tim White is perfectly fine. He's not dead.

Finally, I can guaran-damn-tee (there's that word again) you that you will keep watching WWE wrestling.Just like you did when Triple H screwed a fake corpse and when Jim Ross was fired.

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

WWE Armageddon Predictions

Here are my predictions for this weekend's Armageddon PPV. I am still expecting to post the picks from someone else as well, but for now you just get mine. On to the matches...

Smackdown's Batista and Rey Mysterio v. Raw's Big Show and Kane

I would have to pick Rey and Batista. Besides the fact that neither of them ever seem to lose, Smackdown has been getting over huge in the Smackdown v. Raw war and I don't see this match being any different. Expect to see Triple H interfere in some way and cause Raw's team to lose - helping to build up to his match with Big Show at the New Years Revolution PPV.

Orton v. Undertaker - Hell in a Cell

Undertaker has never lost a Hell in A Cell Match. He just lost to Orton a few months ago in their last match (it also happens to be the last time that the Undertaker has wrestled on TV) so I am seeing him get some sort of redemption here. Seeing that this will likely be Undertaker's last Hell in A Cell match I really don't see him losing. Eventhough I'm picking Orton to lose, I still see the Legend Killer being way over after the match. Orton winning would defininately be better in the long run, but it doesn't look like he's going to beat 'Taker twice in a row. Look for these two to battle again at Royal Rumble in the Buried Alive match that was supposed to take place at Survivor Series.

Booker T v. Chris Benoit - Match 4 in a best of 7 series with Benoit down 0-3 for the vacant US Title

I haven't heard anything about Benoit re-signing with WWE so I wouldn't be surprised to see him lose the series 4-0 as a way to embarass him on his way out. I also see the remote possibility of them pulling a Bret Hart-esque ending and pulling a screwjob on him before his contarct expires. I'm not sure of exactly when his contract is up (it's soon from what I've read), but I am going to pick Benoit to make it 3-1 in the series. He's always been marketed as an underdog that beats the odds so I wouldn't pick against him with his back against the wall. Look for Sharmell's interference to backfire and cost Booker T the match. Besides everything that I have already mantioned about this match there is one other reason that I am picking Benoit - When was the last time that a 'best of 3' , 'best of 5' , or 'best of 7' type match hasn't gone the full number? Never, if my memory serves me correctly, so expect the series to go the distance. As for who will end up with the title - that's anyone's guess.

MNM v. Super Crazy and Psicosis of the Mexicools

The Mexicools (as a tag team) have been getting a moderate push as of late so I am picking Super Crazy and Psicosis to walk away with the victory. I also would have seen them picking up the titles, but that was before MNM lost the titles to Rey and Batista.

Juvi (Cruiserweight Champion) v. Kid Kash

Kid Kash has not only gotten over on the Mexicools last week, but this week as well with his defeat of Super Crazy. For that reason I think that Kash will edge out Juvi and win the match. Whether he wins the title is another matter. He's spent most of his time on Velocity before being promoted to Smackdown in the last couple weeks. The bookers are possibly going to wait until he's a little more established in the eyes of viewers who don't watch Velocity and aren't familiar with his work in ECW or stint in TNA before giving him the title. Look for a possible DQ finish due to interference by Super Crazy and/or Psicosis or some other victory that doesn't earn him the title. While I would rather see Kash carry the title instead of Juvi the bottom line is that I see Kash winning the match, but not necessarily the title. He'll get the title in due time. Maybe they'll run some sort of angle where Kash explains to Teddy Long how he deserves another title shot since he beat Juvi @ Armageddon and then gain the title that way.

JBL v. Matt Hardy

Hardy has been little more than a jobber since he rejoined the WWE. Maybe it's Vince's way of getting back at Hardy for being so vocal on the Internet and having to re-sign him. As much as Vince won't admit it, he hates when the fans force his hand on something. Also, with Batista unable to put on a decent singles match due to injury, and the untimely passing of Eddie, Smackdown needs to keep experienced main eventers looking good and on top. JBL is going to win.


Bobby Lashley v. William Regal & Paul Burchill

First off, I am happy to see that in recent weeks they have eased up on Lashley's dominance. If they had continued his Goldberg-like push I really think that it would have backfired and gotten stale real quick. I am also happy to see that they have allowed his opponents to get some sort off offense in against him. Squash matches are boring after you see them week after week after week. It was important for the fans to see if he was able to sell moves instead of him just destroying his opponents. As for this match, I don't see Regal & Burchill winning. Even if it is done in the non-tag format where all 3 guys are in the ring at the same time, Lashley is going to win. Regal and Burchill have no chance. I am expecting to see some sort of power move such as him giving his finisher to both Regal and Burchill at the same time. Hopefully it won't be a squash, but it probably will be. Next move for Lashley's character should be developing his personality and possibly some 'mike' work (if he's ready that is). Down the road I would like to see a Lashley v. Angle match where both can showcase their amateur backgrounds, but first they need to build Lashley's character up (and have them both on the same brand show).

***Rumored match: Boogeyman v. Sylvain or Simon Dean

Whoever the Boogeyman wrestles (assuming the match happens) at Armageddon I really don't see him losing to either one although I hope it's Sylvain and not Dean. As bizzarre (and stupid) as Boogeyman's character may be, he is way over with the crowd and I don't see his momentum stopping here. I don't see it taking him to a title shot anytime soon though. On a side note, from what I have heard Mike Bucci (Simon Dean) is one of the most innovative wrestlers in recent times. If that is indeed true I think it's a shame what they are doing with him - he's basically a jobber who they use to get newer talent over. Specifically Lashley and the Boogeyman as of late.


wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

John Spencer 1946-2005

Emmy Award winning West Wing star John Spencer who plays VP nominee Leo McGarry has passed away due to a heart attack. I have been a huge fan of the series since shortly after it debuted on television. Ironically, Spencer's character had suffered a heart attack early last season only to make a full recovery and become the Vice Presidential nominee. Prior to Spencer's character becoming the Vice Presidential nominee he served as Chief-of-Staff to fictional President Bartlet, portrayed my Martin Sheen. While his role on the West Wing may have been his most recent, he may also be recognized for his roles on oher television shows such as L.A. Law and The Patty Duke Show and movies such as Forget Paris . It should be interesting how Spencer's passing is dealt with and incorporated into the show's storyline seeing as how his character was heavily involved in the ongoing election plotline. In addition to acting Spencer was an avid gardener. Spencer was 4 days shy of his 59th birthday.

See Also: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10498378/

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

You Can't See Me?....I Beg To Differ.

Blind fold matches in wrestling. There have only been a handful that I can remember. Actually, only two that come to mind although I have probably seen others. The first one being between the once 'blinded', but recently healed Jake "The Snake" Roberts and the 'Model' Rick Martel. The second match is the one that took place on the 12-12-2005 edition of WWE RAW between John Cena and Shawn Daivari. The latter match wasn't actually a blindfold match though - as only Cena was blindfolded (if you can even really call it that).

Blindfolds in wrestling mostly consist of a black, supposedly opaque drawstring bag that is placed over the wrestlers' heads.

Back during the Roberts v. Martel match it was overwhelmingly obvious that the wrestlers could see through the blindfolds. I say this because you could clearly see the light coming through the other side of the blindfold. However, much to their credit (especially Roberts) both wrestlers did a great job of pretending that they couldn't see. They did the little things such as circling the ring while holding onto the ropes and using them as a guide. Thus being able to know the general vicinity of the ring that they were in. This is all under the pretense that they really can't see although they clearly can. This act of holding onto the ropes at all possible times lends a huge amount of believability to the actual blindness of the participants.

The blindfold that Cena used during his match was different from the Roberts/Martel one in the sense that it looked to truly be opaque, but judging by Cena's acting he obviously could see. He would run and lunge towards where he 'thought' Daivari was and then stop just short of and wrap his arms around the top rope. Wouldn't you think that he would basically run into the ropes as opposed to grabbing them nearly perfectly? I would.

I addition to that, Cena was using the crowd to help him. He would randomly point in various directions across the ring and the crowd would either boo or cheer depending on whether Daivari was was in the area where he was pointing. At one point Cena pointed in a direction that Daivari wasn't even near and the crowd erroneously cheered. Theoretically, Cena would miss Daivari if he went looking for Daivari in the direction that the crowd cheered for. Did he? Nope. He went right over to where Daivari was standing - in an area of the ring that he wasn't even pointing to.

Also, I don't care who the participants are in a match where only one participant is blindfolded - the person without the blindfold can't lose. Or should I say he would actually have to try to lose in order to actually lose. All he's got to do is punch the other person in the side of the head and run away. After enough punches the guy is going to fall and the guy without the blindfold can just pummel the other guy into bloody unconciousness. Did this happen though? Not a chance. Cena managed to 'find' Daivari and slap on an STF leading to Daivari's submission and defeat. Just another occasion of Cena beating the overwhelming odds stacked against him.

Yeah, I know that maybe I am nitpicking, but in wrestling it tends to be the little things that can make or break a match.

I truly wish I really couldn't see him. I am starting to think that maybe I should have worn the blindfold.

Hey Vince! Take the belt off of Cena and put in on Kurt Angle. Trust me - There is more money in Cena chasing the belt leading to Wrestlemania than there is in leaving it on him. Faces (good guys) chasing championships has always been better for business than having Heels (bad guys) chasing it.

One other thing - Please don't make Dusty Rhodes the new RAW GM. He's going to stink. STINK!

Later this week - My WWE Armageddon Picks.

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com

Sting to TNA? You're Kidding, Right?

Throughout the early parts of last week there were reports that TNA (Total Nonstop Action) Wrestling president Dixie Carter had announced that at a major announcement would be made at last night's pay-per-view. As with anything in wrestling, the contents of the announcement were leaked and it turns out that the announcement was that former WCW World Champion STING has signed a deal with TNA. Reportedly, a 1-year deal for up to $500,000. $500,000 ???? You have gots ta be kidding. I checked a few other sites and they all quoted the same figure. That's more than alot of WWE wrestlers are probably pulling in. John Cena probably doesn't even get that much (before merchandise royalties - they are marketing so much Cena / Chain Gane crap that I wouldn't be surprised if he pulls in 'Stone Cold' money after merchandising). How are they possibly going to afford that? Panda Energy (TNA's parent company) likely has money to waste, but why waste it on STING? After all, TNA hasn't posted a profit since its inception a few years back. This just digs the hole deeper - a lot deeper. There is no way that this can pay-off in the long run.

I understand that Spike TV told TNA to go out an get talent that the fans recognize in hopes that more fans will tune it. That's exactly what Ted Turner told Eric Bichoff to do in WCW. Sure, it worked in the short term, but old men with recognizable names can only go so far before the fans lose interest.

In case you're wondering, at the conclusion to the TNA PPV the arena went dark, a scorpion (Sting's logo) appeared on the Jumbotron, and a steel chair, black coat and boots, and baseball bat were shown in the center of the ring. Confirming that Sting was indeed coming to TNA.

I may be wrong, but we'll have to wait and see. Let me know

Welcome

Thank you for visiting my blog. As you are probably able to tell from the title, my blog is going to be about wrestling. Mainly, professional wrestling. I am however going to be covering much more than just wrestling. I plan to also possibly go into video games ,music, movies, TV, along with more serious topics such as politics, world events, and the news of the day. Basically, whatever I choose. I will also try to take a faily light-hearted point-of-view, but I'll be serious if the topic warrants it.

Agree or disagree with what I've said?
Feel like correcting a mistake I've made?
Have something I might be interested in?

Let me know.wrestleblogger@yahoo.com