The WWE's New Dress Code Doesn't 'Suit' Them...Get It? 'Suit' Them!

I was reading about how WWE management has instituted a required dress code for all performers for when they are exiting or arriving to an arena. The dress code is very similar if not identical to the NBA's recently enacted dress code. It states that all performers (wrestlers, etc.) must wear a suit when arriving or leaving an event. There are however, only two exceptions that I have read about. They happen to be John Cena and the ominous Undertaker. Management's rationale behind making these two exempt from the policy is as follows: By requiring these two individuals to follow the dress code would surely kill their gimmicks. In that case I would say 'Please, Please, Please, Make John Cena Wear a Suit!". He is in great need for a new gimmick. It's stale, outdated, and has been done oh so many times before; Remember P.N.News? How about PG-13? Surely you remember the Road-D-O-Double-Jizzle (That's Road Dogg for those of you who aren't hip-hop inclined). I have nothing against Rap music, but I always find rapper gimmicks in wrestling to be (as they wrestlers themselves would say) 'wiggity-wiggity-whack on an old skool track'. Maybe it's just me, but back to this dress code thing. As stated, the Undertaker is also exempt to the policy. Why? God for bid the fans that gather behind the arena to see the Undertaker arrive and leave find out his dirty little secret - HE'S NOT REALLY DEAD EITHER! Even if he was, would it be so bad for him to wear a suit? Or even a coat and tie? Let the fans know that the afterlife is a pretty happening scene full of snappy dressers.

I say that if Cena and Undertaker have gimmicks that warrant exception, maybe some others do as well. Surely, the Boogeyman doesn't have to wear a suit. He eats live worms for crying out loud! How about Kane? The man was burned alive as a child. Ok, maybe just put him in a burnt suit - maybe put a few pieces of burnt toast in the pockets for the full effect. There's probably a few more that warrant an exception, but I'm not going to get into all of them right now.

My point is this: The fans don't expect these wrestlers to be businessmen (Except maybe JBL). How about enacting a 'smart casual' dress code or something along those lines - and if people want to wear suits, let them wear suits.

One final note. I also read that WWE management has requested that all wrestlers act 'in character' when out in public. One word for my response to this - Eugene. Do they actually expect him to act like a mentally challenged person when he's out to dinner or shopping with his family? It's never going to work. Does Jillian have to wear that mole/wart on her face when she's grocery shopping? Could she just wear a giant bandage over it? I can't wait until that thing falls off during live TV and the WWE is forced to acknowledge how stupid it was to have her wear it in the first place. Is Simon Dean supposed to go up to overweight people out to dinner and call people fat?

In the past the WWE has been more than willing to acknowledge that what they do is more entertainment than it is sport and that it's all theatre. Why can't they just let the performers be themselves when they are on their own time?

wrestleblogger@yahoo.com