Tim White Is Alive!...Nevermind

I have some good news and some bad news for fans that were distraught about Tim White's apparent suicide during the Armageddon PPV a few weeks back. First, the good news. Tim White (his on-screen character I mean) failed in his attempt to blow his own brains out with a shotgun. In fact, he dropped the shotgun and only shot himself in the foot; he didn't kill himself. Now the bad news. He apparently has killed himself...again. A vignette has been filmed for Smackdown (to be shown as soon as tonight) where Josh Matthews interviews White. The interview also shows Matthews asking if White has a New Years' Resolution and White proceeds to pull out a box of what is supposed to be rat poison, lean back to the point that his chair tips over, and pour the poison down his own throat. I get the suspicion that Tim White ends up failing in this suicide attempt as well. Maybe it will be revealed that the box of rat poison turned out to be a Costco sized box of Kool-Aid mix or some sh*t like that. Who the hell knows? I am however very interested in seeing where this storyline leads to. Perhaps he will end up trying to hang himself only to that the rope break or closet rod break. Or maybe he'll try to slit his own wrists and end up breaking the knife.

I may have some of the details of the video incorrect, but the general idea is about the same.

IMPORTANT NOTE: PLEASE, NOBODY CALL POISON CONTROL OR THE POLICE WHEN TIM WHITE EATS THE RAT POISON! HE'S NOT GOING TO DIE! HE'S GOING TO GO ON TO LIVE AND ATTEMPT SUICIDE MANY MORE TIMES!

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